Things were clumsy.... Environment seemed to have a lot of smoke.... Moods were not too pleasant.... Until I decided to do things the "Ambar's" way...
And something was shining, and for a change it was happiness...
And i realized something really good... Let it be the pain, let it be the sorrow, let it be anything but disappointment, the only thing triumphs is the ways we change the world.... The power of smile, the sooth in the company, and the love in the air brings you up from the ocean of dilemma and shows you the shine... A shine which doesn't touch the Buddha statue to its head but the feet, the shine that a child without parents waits for , a shine a youth without love searches for and the shine that proves the point of being what all of us are....
And something fades away, and for a change it is sorrow....
Times do change, whether you live for someone, whether you loose for someone, and it really doesn't matters whether you play for someone... Nothing remains the same but the instinct... Instinct to clutch up your achievements, instinct to grasp your belongings and instinct to loose everything... Knowing all this within ourselves, why do we stick to things? Why do we never stop try being what we are? Why don't we accept the changes? There lies the victory... victory that we play for, victory a kid seeing parents working dreams of, victory a bird staying alone longs for, victory that we live for and the victory that we loose for...
And something changes its way, and for a surprise, its our life....
Phenomenons do fail, whether we try them in the laboratory, whether we defend them in the mood of fringe, and they do fail even when we take it from someone... And after realizing all these things, just one things seems to be truth, as i always believes in the statement-- "How Large the life can be, I am larger than life..!!"... And i don't believe in creating phenomenons, I believe in the ultimate phenomenon of life, the phenomenon of turning yourself into a process... You wanna be great??? Be a phenomenon...... Let the world follow you....
And i say--
"If you succeed, you are a phenomenon the world goes for.... If you loose, you are still a phenomenon the world looks for the lessons...."
What's the loss? What's the big ask? What's the challenge? Be a phenomenon yourself, change the world if you can....
And something is playing on, it remains the same, its "Ambar's" rhythm...
With luv,
Mon's Ambar
Friday, November 16, 2007
Thursday, August 30, 2007
tHiNgS dO cHaNgE, eXcEpT.....
Smile-- the most prolific thing in my life. It has changed the faces many times... The only thing that has not changed is that it remains as the most needed ingredient of my existence.. Sometimes, it was on my face trying to make others smile, sometimes it was on others face just to make me feel good. Every time, it was just to infect people around with happiness... But when it comes to smile on my face, it was even existing in the trying times, because i was determined to play each and every game life brings to me..
Music-- the most fantastic thing in my life. Again, it has changed the hands many times... The only thing that has not changed is that it remains as the most cherished panorama of my thoughts... And when i talk of my music, it has to relate all the time, not with the highs and lows, but with the rhythm life provided to my dreams...
Home-- the most accomplished thing in my life. It also has changed lives many times... The only thing that has not changed is the pace with which it goes on... And when the things go around my home, it has remained as my most cherished dream and the center of my thought process... A determination has never changed to change the way it was, and will never change until i complete it...
Love-- the most searched thing in my life. And it has changed places several times as well... And it is the only thing that was never there to change hearts, but to make me feel standing while being alone... I don't know why but it remains as a truth that god never gifted me with such grace before... I still feel standing but this time, i am finding her behind me... The dream of my life is about to come true... I can make smile to the person close to my own existence, i can play the music of my own, and most importantly, i can make a home of my own with my love....
Ambar-- still going on.... still smiling... still testing himself for everything... still working for making a mark and not the myth, and yes, still playing the best of the music......
Rock on the world------ a wish
Play the game to its end------ a determination
Tame the sky down------ a decision
Make the faces smile------ a precision
Live the life when its on------ TRUTH.........................
with luv
"Mamon's "Ambar
Music-- the most fantastic thing in my life. Again, it has changed the hands many times... The only thing that has not changed is that it remains as the most cherished panorama of my thoughts... And when i talk of my music, it has to relate all the time, not with the highs and lows, but with the rhythm life provided to my dreams...
Home-- the most accomplished thing in my life. It also has changed lives many times... The only thing that has not changed is the pace with which it goes on... And when the things go around my home, it has remained as my most cherished dream and the center of my thought process... A determination has never changed to change the way it was, and will never change until i complete it...
Love-- the most searched thing in my life. And it has changed places several times as well... And it is the only thing that was never there to change hearts, but to make me feel standing while being alone... I don't know why but it remains as a truth that god never gifted me with such grace before... I still feel standing but this time, i am finding her behind me... The dream of my life is about to come true... I can make smile to the person close to my own existence, i can play the music of my own, and most importantly, i can make a home of my own with my love....
Ambar-- still going on.... still smiling... still testing himself for everything... still working for making a mark and not the myth, and yes, still playing the best of the music......
Rock on the world------ a wish
Play the game to its end------ a determination
Tame the sky down------ a decision
Make the faces smile------ a precision
Live the life when its on------ TRUTH.........................
with luv
"Mamon's "Ambar
Saturday, June 30, 2007
mOvInG oN wItH lIfE wItH tHe bEaTs oF mY hEaRt.....
Its been a long time, i was waiting for the dawn....not knowing the reason, not even looking at the time.....and i was going on....almost insane, and completely restless.......
I don't know what and which thing bide me with the lingering pain, but i was enjoying each and every bit of that pain, even i was trying to grow it with each breath i took, and i was moving with it....feeling insecure and lonely.....on the beats of sorrows........
For sure, i was distracted....to the extent that even i didn't think of being in pain.....
And i was listening to the music all the time.....let it be the time when i heard to "I was never broke with broken promises", or let it be the time when i moved to "Rock on".....Each and every bit of that music was making me more and more curious about the dawn for which i waited for almost eternity.........
And finally, that dawn has showed me its face. I was completely fazed, in fact, was amazed so much that i didn't believe it for a while...i was not able to believe that a dawn whose face i have never imagined can be so beautiful.....i was never sure of its existence and even after seeing its brightness i was not ready to believe that this particular dawn will shake my existence......
But it did, and did it to such an extremity that i was forced to think its way....i thought its way to the point when it came to the dim of the eve.....and i was scared of loosing this dawn....i was scared of loosing my life's only shine with this evening....and look, I, a person who was so addicted to nights was afraid of the darkness for the very first time.....
And i decided, let it be nature, let it be the thing decided by the God himself, i will not loose this brightness....and things changed just like a zap of fingers....it was like my luck was waiting for my decision of resisting the obvious.....my luck stood up for the first time for me, and i can sense the result... i am holding that dawn in my heart today....not to see it to its eve, but to take it to the night and show it to the darkness that look, Ambar has snatched the sunshine...... Ambar has broke the rule, and nobody in the world is going to clear up his fist this time.....and let the world try, this time Ambar is not going to loose the grip.........
And i came to know its not what your fate decides for you, it is what you decide for your fate to think about.......and today also, i m listening to a song and its ----
"When you are alone, and life is making you lonely, you can always go---DOWNTOWN....
When you have got worries, all the noise in the hurries, seems to help i know---DOWNTOWN...
Just listen to the music of the traffic in the city,
Linger on the sidewalks where the neon signs are pretty,
How can you loose...........???????
The lights are much brighter that you can forget all your troubles, forget all your pain...
So go DOWNTOWN, things will be great..
when you are DOWNTOWN, no final place...
For sure DOWNTOWN, everything is waiting for you...."
And i am smiling............come on life, i am inviting to the party of your lifetime......Rock the world...
I don't know what and which thing bide me with the lingering pain, but i was enjoying each and every bit of that pain, even i was trying to grow it with each breath i took, and i was moving with it....feeling insecure and lonely.....on the beats of sorrows........
For sure, i was distracted....to the extent that even i didn't think of being in pain.....
And i was listening to the music all the time.....let it be the time when i heard to "I was never broke with broken promises", or let it be the time when i moved to "Rock on".....Each and every bit of that music was making me more and more curious about the dawn for which i waited for almost eternity.........
And finally, that dawn has showed me its face. I was completely fazed, in fact, was amazed so much that i didn't believe it for a while...i was not able to believe that a dawn whose face i have never imagined can be so beautiful.....i was never sure of its existence and even after seeing its brightness i was not ready to believe that this particular dawn will shake my existence......
But it did, and did it to such an extremity that i was forced to think its way....i thought its way to the point when it came to the dim of the eve.....and i was scared of loosing this dawn....i was scared of loosing my life's only shine with this evening....and look, I, a person who was so addicted to nights was afraid of the darkness for the very first time.....
And i decided, let it be nature, let it be the thing decided by the God himself, i will not loose this brightness....and things changed just like a zap of fingers....it was like my luck was waiting for my decision of resisting the obvious.....my luck stood up for the first time for me, and i can sense the result... i am holding that dawn in my heart today....not to see it to its eve, but to take it to the night and show it to the darkness that look, Ambar has snatched the sunshine...... Ambar has broke the rule, and nobody in the world is going to clear up his fist this time.....and let the world try, this time Ambar is not going to loose the grip.........
And i came to know its not what your fate decides for you, it is what you decide for your fate to think about.......and today also, i m listening to a song and its ----
"When you are alone, and life is making you lonely, you can always go---DOWNTOWN....
When you have got worries, all the noise in the hurries, seems to help i know---DOWNTOWN...
Just listen to the music of the traffic in the city,
Linger on the sidewalks where the neon signs are pretty,
How can you loose...........???????
The lights are much brighter that you can forget all your troubles, forget all your pain...
So go DOWNTOWN, things will be great..
when you are DOWNTOWN, no final place...
For sure DOWNTOWN, everything is waiting for you...."
And i am smiling............come on life, i am inviting to the party of your lifetime......Rock the world...
Friday, April 27, 2007
wHaT iT aLl cOmEs dOwN tO......
Stories were never meant to be told, dreams were never meant to be thought of, and future was never meant to be sorted out..... but things changes as you change your perception....
Regardless of what happens in your life, you still keep feeling the same all the time, you keep falling in for the same reasons and even though you decide to be strong in each and every situation, you keep breaking out for the obvious reasons..... nothing goes right until you change your perception....
And not only material things, not even the way you take the things, even the way you think changes as you change your perception...... And i just changed my perception towards life......
Now i am propagating the stories, am dreaming and fighting for them to get them true, and yes, future is unseen, but still sorting the things so that it has to be good for me now, at least now....
There were times when i tried and failed, there were times when i fought for some and lost all of them, there were times when i got more than what i deserve, and then there were times when i thought of getting more of my life...... I do not regret of anything that i have lost in my life, may be because i do not cherish any good thing coming my way...... I do not cry for the people that went away from me, may be because new people did not fill their places...... and i do not search for happiness anymore, may be because the pains never left me..... and still this time, i did not alter the phenomenon as the things came their own way, and i was there eventually standing with my arms stretched out for anything to come and hug me with an impulse, let it be pain, let it be smile, let it be fire, let it be wrath, let it be fire, let it be love, let it be jeopardy, let it be decision...... all i needed was an impulse that could shake me....
The perceptions remain immaterial for me, the thoughts remain immovable for me, the profoundness remains unknown for me and yes, last but not the least, peace remains unsolved for me, but still, i m standing tall b'coz i have made a decision, and the decision is the thing that cuts out the perception, the thoughts, the wrath and the confusion....... so here i am, here is Ambar, not to be said decisive, but yes, determined...............
cheers........with love to all
Ambar
Regardless of what happens in your life, you still keep feeling the same all the time, you keep falling in for the same reasons and even though you decide to be strong in each and every situation, you keep breaking out for the obvious reasons..... nothing goes right until you change your perception....
And not only material things, not even the way you take the things, even the way you think changes as you change your perception...... And i just changed my perception towards life......
Now i am propagating the stories, am dreaming and fighting for them to get them true, and yes, future is unseen, but still sorting the things so that it has to be good for me now, at least now....
There were times when i tried and failed, there were times when i fought for some and lost all of them, there were times when i got more than what i deserve, and then there were times when i thought of getting more of my life...... I do not regret of anything that i have lost in my life, may be because i do not cherish any good thing coming my way...... I do not cry for the people that went away from me, may be because new people did not fill their places...... and i do not search for happiness anymore, may be because the pains never left me..... and still this time, i did not alter the phenomenon as the things came their own way, and i was there eventually standing with my arms stretched out for anything to come and hug me with an impulse, let it be pain, let it be smile, let it be fire, let it be wrath, let it be fire, let it be love, let it be jeopardy, let it be decision...... all i needed was an impulse that could shake me....
The perceptions remain immaterial for me, the thoughts remain immovable for me, the profoundness remains unknown for me and yes, last but not the least, peace remains unsolved for me, but still, i m standing tall b'coz i have made a decision, and the decision is the thing that cuts out the perception, the thoughts, the wrath and the confusion....... so here i am, here is Ambar, not to be said decisive, but yes, determined...............
cheers........with love to all
Ambar
Saturday, March 10, 2007
oLd mEmOrIeS.......
Its been almost 5 yrs, i have not celebrated any festival....kinda forgot what these festivals are all about...it always feel like missing something from my life, and everytime i try to find that thing, the answer comes in the form of moments...i m missing moments in my life....
No matter where i m now and it doesnt matters what i m doing now, but the truth remains as i am missing my life completely. Nothing to deal with the joys and enjoyments of life that were typical to Ambar, but the fact is i m missing Ambar in myself. Sometimes i feel that being Ambar forever is not easy.........
I tried so hard to pull myself back into my life, but everytime just one thing bounced back....my memories of the past. No matter you try your best to keep these memories away, they come back... Everytime you look yourself in the mirror, you wonder where is that old face of yours has gone....where r those careless jokes, where r those thoughtless thoughts and most importantly you miss your companions.
You push yourself into those memories and they pull you in themselves... just like old friends, like your very own griefs and exactly like your existence's deepest secrets....everything confronts itself into a totally different perspective. You might have all the things you ever wanted, but still you miss something...some miss their serenity, some miss their independence, some miss their dependence and some miss life......
Still the life goes on and mercilessly insists you to go on without looking back. and you feel like lost. But being lost is not the last thing, the last thing remains as truth. When you face urself, you know the truth and when you look back, you find where it came from and then you find the worst thing of all, no going back to change the things........
i m now waiting for the history to repeat itself so that i can change things this time when i need the things to be corrected the most..... will the time come and will the prodigy of life allow me to do that, its a past thought i care a f**k abt it.....Smile has been my greatest power and i will keep smiling, Lets see what changes with smiles.........................
wid love....
Ambar
No matter where i m now and it doesnt matters what i m doing now, but the truth remains as i am missing my life completely. Nothing to deal with the joys and enjoyments of life that were typical to Ambar, but the fact is i m missing Ambar in myself. Sometimes i feel that being Ambar forever is not easy.........
I tried so hard to pull myself back into my life, but everytime just one thing bounced back....my memories of the past. No matter you try your best to keep these memories away, they come back... Everytime you look yourself in the mirror, you wonder where is that old face of yours has gone....where r those careless jokes, where r those thoughtless thoughts and most importantly you miss your companions.
You push yourself into those memories and they pull you in themselves... just like old friends, like your very own griefs and exactly like your existence's deepest secrets....everything confronts itself into a totally different perspective. You might have all the things you ever wanted, but still you miss something...some miss their serenity, some miss their independence, some miss their dependence and some miss life......
Still the life goes on and mercilessly insists you to go on without looking back. and you feel like lost. But being lost is not the last thing, the last thing remains as truth. When you face urself, you know the truth and when you look back, you find where it came from and then you find the worst thing of all, no going back to change the things........
i m now waiting for the history to repeat itself so that i can change things this time when i need the things to be corrected the most..... will the time come and will the prodigy of life allow me to do that, its a past thought i care a f**k abt it.....Smile has been my greatest power and i will keep smiling, Lets see what changes with smiles.........................
wid love....
Ambar
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
mUsIcALLy dEaD........
Music says it all... doesn't matter you give it a damn or doesn't matter you take it to your heart, when it comes to rhythm, music takes it all.... i do not have any idea how close i am to music but, i feel the worst thing is being musically dead. . . . . .
surprized????yes i mean it, musically dead!!!! just as i am....feeling no sanity within, not feeling like responding to rhythm and last but not the least, being numb to not bang ur head against the beats....i am not doing anyone of these right now, and thats why i called myelf musically dead...
the question remains the same, are we living our lives????? the answer seems to be divergent from the point everytime i try to answer this..... just one thing remains as a truth, no matter i listen to Mettalica's "untill i sleep" or if i listen to Green day's "boulevard of broken dreams", i feel uncertain abt life and again, music says it all to me---
"I AM BROKE BUT I AM HAPPY,
I AM POOR BUT I AM KIND,
I AM SHOT BUT I AM HEALTHY YEAH.....
I AM HIGH BUT I AM GROUNDED,
I AM SANE BUT I AM OVERWHELMED,
I AM LOST BUT I AM HOPEFUL.....................""
-"Alanis Morrisette"
and i feel that i have the power to be myself. The power to be like me everytime, the power to behave like myself and the power to think like me all the way, i feel contended within myself feeling these lines...................
And when it comes to confront life, i answer this to life in my very own way, as "i am lost but i am hopeful......". i know this might sound crazy but its the truth, i was never able to understand how the life goes on when we everyday breath out more then what we intake... and the life goes on, just like music.....the less we hear, the more we pour it out........ and yes i feel musically dead.......
love will always be in air, doesn't matter its about music or its about life, but just one thing to say or write about it, to finish, MUSIC TAKES IT ALL..........................................................
with luv............
surprized????yes i mean it, musically dead!!!! just as i am....feeling no sanity within, not feeling like responding to rhythm and last but not the least, being numb to not bang ur head against the beats....i am not doing anyone of these right now, and thats why i called myelf musically dead...
the question remains the same, are we living our lives????? the answer seems to be divergent from the point everytime i try to answer this..... just one thing remains as a truth, no matter i listen to Mettalica's "untill i sleep" or if i listen to Green day's "boulevard of broken dreams", i feel uncertain abt life and again, music says it all to me---
"I AM BROKE BUT I AM HAPPY,
I AM POOR BUT I AM KIND,
I AM SHOT BUT I AM HEALTHY YEAH.....
I AM HIGH BUT I AM GROUNDED,
I AM SANE BUT I AM OVERWHELMED,
I AM LOST BUT I AM HOPEFUL.....................""
-"Alanis Morrisette"
and i feel that i have the power to be myself. The power to be like me everytime, the power to behave like myself and the power to think like me all the way, i feel contended within myself feeling these lines...................
And when it comes to confront life, i answer this to life in my very own way, as "i am lost but i am hopeful......". i know this might sound crazy but its the truth, i was never able to understand how the life goes on when we everyday breath out more then what we intake... and the life goes on, just like music.....the less we hear, the more we pour it out........ and yes i feel musically dead.......
love will always be in air, doesn't matter its about music or its about life, but just one thing to say or write about it, to finish, MUSIC TAKES IT ALL..........................................................
with luv............
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