Vanishing Skies......

One thing with which I related myself to each and everyday.....""SKY"".....what I thought was -- though I can't be as big as sky, but atleast I can absorb its vastness into my attitude...... I always believed that if I can't give people a reason to smile in their loneliness, atleast I can make them smile in my company...and I did that with each bit of my silly jokes, sometimes without any reason.... And look what... I succeeded in my first goal......now I have become a joke myself, and the bigger thing is -- now people don't smile, they laugh.......but I don't know why, I don't feel contended....

I feel burnt, i feel dumped, and i feel broke...... and i am not contended.... i am not satisfied.....

I dint ever think of myself being this way.... Never even when I left music... I don't know what made me feel this, and I don't know why I feel this every now and then..... but I know one thing.... I always feel good when something goes good with the people around me........

Just like today, I was feeling gloomy in the morning, but when I came to know some good news from my friends about them , I was happy as anything.... its just god's grace that whenever I feel gloomy, I come across people who make my day and I start feeling good.

Again, I have started looking up to the sky....just to measure its vastness with the hope of capturing it, with a passion to bang it down, with a goal to boot it badly........................just to see it vanishing before my eyes....................................

Life plays game, and I love playing with life.......... things were like that, and they will be so forever.......

Rain.... its something i cherish the most. coz it rained wen i was sad, it rained wen i was happy, and its raining even today wen i cant find any mood.....
I came across everything, let it be success, let it be failure, let it be love and let it be sorrow, but nothing rains as rain..... and all i can think of is just of a statement--

"...its better to burn out than to fade away..."

And again the rain plays its part in it. nothing on the account, nothing on the mind and even nothing on the heart....its full of water but empty at heart. Anybody can compare itself to it... Everybody wishes to be a part of drops of rain, however, its as evident as anything, raindrops are destined to lose their identity after their job is done. so we are.... destined to lose our breath after the job is over... "i have many works to do"....this sentence can make ur life longer and can make ur life short....what i want, is to make it short and sweet. so i am here.....wet with showers and ready to go. coz i have many things to do......

Life counts each and every day, whether its raining or not. So lets search for our own dawn, our own evening and of course, our own RAIN.....
with luv.......

Musical Memoria......

its never cheerful to remember the anniversaries of the bad things that had happen in ur life, but i have that habit of remembering each and every day that had bought some memories to my life.....i find it funny to have those memories back in ur mind and then post-mortem them to that extent so that u wont feel bad for them to be hapened ever...
Probably, this keeps me being myself, being AMBAR.............perhaps......

I used to chant these lines so many times before........
"where do i take this pain of mine,
i run but it stays right by my side,
so tear me open,pour me out...
there r things inside that scream and shout...
and the pain still hates me....
so hold me untill it sleeps...................................."
but now i realized this myself,that being in pain causes pain to everyone in ur demethy...so i m now painless,with the same relentlessness and of course, with the same smile....... and now it goes on with music itself.....News....News.....News.....Now i am listening to Deff Leppard's "Rock On......". and now i feel myself like rocking on the world with the real vastness of "AMBAR"....
so everybody there, rock on with me...........coz i came to know that-----
"lovely things are not hard to get,
they only needs some lovely efforts......."

Night Calls.....

That was not gloomy at all, neither that was bright, the smoke was just so perfectly appropriate to intoxicate me with the purest of emotions, i didn't think of myself this way ever before this very night. the night itself was so wonderful with clouds covering almost every part of sky, but i didn't like it much....coz there were no stars to talk with....

And i was standing alone under that endless sky. And in that trip of thoughts, something strange crept into my mind, even while being alone, i was STANDING.... And yes, that was true, i regained my attitude. this is me, standing tall against all the odds... Every moment that has passed by was alive before my eyes with that thought and i murmured just one thing over everything else--

F*** IT AND FORGET IT......

And this is me, raw, cored and yes, rejoiced AMBAR. Now its a new avataar of me. i feel like reincarneted.... Most importantly, i can differenciate between "being alive" and "staying alive"........

I am Rocking on.....

HI.! Myself, Ambar Shrivastava... nd this is my first ever blog and how gud it is, its for myself........ Anyway, Welcoming all of u on my own blog space is an honor. Plese feel free to comment on the blogs and to post blogs... Rock on..........